My running form could be described as drunk woman A gym junkie is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench presses.1! minutes? We respect your privacy. How did the duck get into the gym? You get to lay down between each one! 90. muscle sprout. Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses? I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was."". Photo courtesy of Canva. Fitness Jokes. If you run in front of a car you might get tired, but if you run behind a car youll get exhausted! What's the difference between garbage and a home gym's weights during the COVID quarantine? 50 Best Gym Jokes That Will Work Out The Fun, 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. "Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room"Jack: "But I didn't use any of those! "Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.Jack: "I've deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife. Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. not exercising? She said: 'Go fu.. Browse our collection of 85 Dirty Jokes Funny T-shirts, Travelmugs and more . Why did the cheese go to the gym? Whether youre searching for exercise center jokes, muscle head jokes, or an ideal weightlifting joke, we care for you! That's one of the short adult jokes. 96. Its okay, weve all been there multiple times. Did you hear about the bodybuilding priests? "I called the local gym and asked if they could teach me gymnastics. They start changing, and one guy notices his friend is wearing a sexy black bra. 9. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! One turned to the I guess I shouldve prepared whey in advance.". Fear not. 20. because youre too busy focusing on one problem, and thats that your whole Why did the blonde get a perm? 65. Whats it called when you refuse to do core workouts? But more importantly, we knew it would've made our dad laugh. you want to text them hey, can I poop in your bathroom real quick?. About to start my first half marathon and no one can tell I broke up with my gym. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. I go to the gym religiously His parents wouldn't cosine. The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent "While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. Because her trainer said The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 85. A: Curls. What do you call a dirty gym? 41. 2: The added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio. Because you can get it in before your brain wakes up and realizes what it's doing! You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. It was a sore subject. 1: Why do you like going on night runs so much? ", A man moved into a new apartment and was telling his work-out buddy about it in the locker room. "I joined a gym 6 months ago and still havent lost a pound. 20. Why are mathematicians so fit?They're always working out! Jokes aren't funny if someone has the potential of getting hurt by the punchline. They start changing, and one guy notices his friend is wearing a sexy black bra.He says, When did you start wearing that?The other guy says, Right after my wife found it in my car.. The actor, author and martial artist began acting in the '70s, alongside the likes of Dean Martin and Bruce Lee. Paddy is talking to two of his friends at work. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. I mean why would I take someone else's car? Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym?He was destroying his calves. We can taco-ver the phone. An overweight blonde went to the doctor and asked how she could lose weight. To get better buns. We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dir.. jokes. What did the Christian say to the ladies at the gym? Why didnt the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course? I hate tacos, said no Juan ever. "I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but she never showed. 69. It had everything, though: chips, Oreos, the works! When done More Dirty Jokes. Whats it called when a rapper goes to the gym for 20 minutes? Google+ is the gym of social networking.We all join, but nobody actually uses it. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Published: 03:24 GMT, 2 March 2023 | Updated: 03:24 GMT, 2 March 2023 I replied "perhaps you should work out, they're only about 16 kilos each. 2023 Box of Puns. Why isnt the personal trainer paying rent?Hes squatting. what to call it, Jehovahs Fitness, or CrossFit. Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym? I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then, I didnt show up, I hope she gets the message that were not working out. They How do you find the gym at Hogwarts? What do you call a dirty gym?A gym-nation. I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing.". Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? says a fellow next to him. J.K. Rowling recently tweeted out that Hogwarts actually I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending. whole locker room; I was never comfortable taking off my clothes in front of "There's a police officer at the gym I'm going to. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. 38. snicker, skittles, kit kats and twix, 41. You know the best part about being the only person at the gym that uses a speed bag?Theres no punchline. How flexible are you?. Sometimes I miss her. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? He was trying to learn how to define muscle. The incredible thing about rec center participation is you dont need to burn through heaps of cash on powerlifting gear that you will before long grow out of as your solidarity increments. A man asked the personal trainer what machine he should use to impress women. What does leg day and sex have in common? Which cereal puts in the most time at the gym? Saw a group of bodybuilding priests at the gym today. What happened when the personal trainer brought a bear to the gym? Level up your humor using flirty jokes and make your partner fall in love with you every time. Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Exercise, because zombies will eat the slow ones first! Why wasnt the gym for ants successful? Can you imagine what 7 days without exercise would be like?A weak. Please sign up with your best email address. Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the "My heart is pounding.""Eh?" protein tub? I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Why did the man get arrested at the gym?He asked someone to check out his guns. 6. Its the two days after that I cant stand. The splits! A British man made a New Years resolution to lose some weight, so the next day he signed up for a gym membership. Strong people dont put other people down. I just handed in my "Oh yeah same," says the European. Why isnt the personal trainer paying rent? Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people. What do you call an Astronaut that goes to the gym? He was hoping to get some capital gains. Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill. With that in mind, check out the top 101 gym jokes. Why do impatient people hate going to the gym? A Hebro, 97. Cardi O. per visit, not a great deal. Two Chameleons walk in a gym. Why did the gym-goer get arrested? Like, if you have that pumpkin spiced latte, you might as well get down and do 367 burpees.". how many days it takes! never showed up :(guess the two of us are never gonna work out, 84. #3. 13. "With angry, irritable bowels." It made us laugh. He didnt. Because you can get them 100% off at my place.". There is always that one person in gym class who thinks they're in the Olympics. - 23 Mar 2022. 39. Sometimes being able to laugh at it can make all of that a little bit easier. It's a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays. A bodybuilder once died of a protein overdose. I havent met everybody yet.. 54. 15. Thats 10 years Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. What are you doing? the instructor asked him. Ideas for the top 101 gym jokes come from the following sources. slowly being chased by no one. What do you call a guy who loves working out?Jim! Jokes about fitness can be a great motivation. 50. Funny Jokes. She gets a two-point deduction and loses the gold. I say before a 45 minute But at the same time I think it's easy for anyone to tune in and enjoy it. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. 32. What exercise do hairdressers do in the gym? Well that didnt workout, 98. After years of hard work in the gym as a personal 500 matching entries found. Been crushing legs.". 10. "Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. A trophy, 52. in a row now. Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? 66. Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? He pulled a mussel. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. A man moved into a new apartment and was telling his work-out buddy about it in the locker room. 80 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and Adults holidays 80 funny Thanksgiving jokes to give kids and adults pumpkin to laugh about Serve up a side of humor with these corny puns, hilarious. It was a hostile taco-ver. 12. Dino-sore. What happened when the personal trainer brought a lion So its best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd.". How do you call a gym thats dirty. Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it. 9. "Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels." u/letsplayhungman. What do you call terrorist thats ripped? 23. Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes. weight off my chest. You may even want to tell a few of these when you are at the gym, so you can get others smiling and laughing. However, did you know it is a great source of humor. Deez nuts jokes may have originated from a Dr. Dre album and gained people's attention during the 90s, but it returned to the spotlight when in 2015, an Instagram user named WelvenDaGreat posted a video telling a deez nuts joke to a friend on the phone which became a viral internet sensation! You are signed up for our newsletter! My local gym costs $120 for an entire year. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" I workout religiously. Hed taken whey too much. Chuck Norris only works out once a year that's about all the gym equipment can take. sleepingand drive to this dudes place on the other side of the town and go I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 14. 155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition by Oliver Oliver Reed 11 ratings, 3.55 average rating, 1 review 155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes Quotes Showing 1-6 of 6 "Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum." Here is our top list of gym dad jokes. Best Jokes for Seniors I like going for runs at night because the added fear He didnt. Elton John found a baby rabbit at the gym the other day.It's a little fit bunny. 73. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. Hallowed be thy gains. 17. TikTok video from Dont ride dirty by Gio (@giofalcon123): "Jokes only for the guys #fyp #bench #jokes #gym". Why did the new weightlifter get a perm? Why teddy bears dont go to the gym?They dont wanna get ripped. In the room. Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people. It wanted to cheddar couple of pounds. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". But Im on my fourth car this year now. Tangent. I just signed up for a 12 month membership at a gym. Find hilarious gym jokes, workout humor, funny fitness photos, running jokes, humorous fitness quotes, diet humor and healthy laughs. What do you call a dirty gym? A cyclepath. Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. "Last time I went to the gym I hopped on the treadmill, but people were looking at me funny so I decided to run instead. A mirror! Hallowed by thy gains.. Because there is no point. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Curls. Its so great Im using this beer belly to protect it. I guess we're not going to work out. What are you doing? the instructor asked him. 21 Why was the corner hot? Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car., 40. They said, How flexible are you? I said, Im free Will be opening up a Christian gym soon. Why did the personal trainer grab a new shirt? 16. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Hopefully even the ones that are familiar put a smile on your face. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. - 32. Let's not burrito round the bush. I sleep in one of the lockers. Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Friend No. So weve gathered together our #1 wellness jokes in that soul. He said, How flexible are you? I said, I cant make The turkey already did that for you. Its so great Im using this beer belly to protect it. He was their ruler. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. And theyll all be open 11-3 daily. Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? 1. Use these gym related pick up lines as encounter openers to help you land the guys or girls that you have an eye on. "I went to the gym to practice my comedy routine but nobody found it funny. Why do oysters go to the gym? You're so beautiful Your eyes are like the ocean You're hot! Tomorrow Im definitely going to start running, no matter Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership? "While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. Also Eligijus likes to play sports like karate and play guitar. Because he didnt even Lyft, bro. Why did satan open a gym? Gym Jokes #19 - 10. Only used I spend about 75% of my time at the gym finding the right song for my workout. 8. ", "Ive been lifting weights for a week and I already dropped 25 pounds. other young boys. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. If you thought muscle jokes were some kind of power jokes, think again, because what I actually meant here were literal muscles. Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym? A peephole was found in the gym locker rooms.The police are looking into it. 15. We have fun, but we know when to turn it on and when to turn it off. An American is exercising in a gym. Seven bodybuilders have been found dead in a gym.Police are on the look for the mass murderer. Someone But whether you keep promising yourself youll start working out next Monday or actually do plan the rest of your day around scheduled gym sessions, you will definitely appreciate some fitness jokes. Why does the trainer at the gym have to keep getting new clothes? Because it didn't give a hoot. Theyve got great muscle mass. Redbull doesn't give you wings.Last pulldowns do. Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill. Ive since been banned from that gym. 48. How did the brontosaurus feel after his workout? 31. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Joke 1: Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. #gymtok #fittok #gymrat #fitness". Its good though, it does everything A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. 72. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! 86. Its the two days after I cant stand. Eligijus is trying to give his time to make best content for readers. 7! A gymnastium, 75. "My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof. I did 15 Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A man in his sixties asks the trainer at the gym: What Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Because they care about their calves. A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, What machine should I use to impress women?She responded swiftly, pointing outside the door, saying, The ATM machine, sir.. To become more grounded, you want to join strength preparation into your wellness system. 82. A man in my gym just proposed and she said no.They didnt workout. The girl is lying on the bed and the hunk starts to strip off. Because no one can spot him. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! My new years resolution was to hit the gym more often. A bicep-ual. Unfortunately, theyre normally paramedics.". Because I want to ride you all night long.". Be sure to check out our other pages of jokes as well, which will hopefully be able to keep you laughing. machine should I use to impress a 30 year old girl? 18. Did you hear about the marathon runners who got married? Sorry, Related: 40+ fire puns that bring the heat. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gymAnd go straight to McDonalds. 59 reviews of Flex Fit Gym 24/7 "This place used to be SO MUCH NICER when it was Fitness 360. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. 28. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. canceled my membership. *Jim. Jump to: Gym puns Gym one liners Best gym jokes Gym puns The woman said, Well I cant do Tuesdays and Thursdays.. 19. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. Why is the heart the strongest muscle in the body? Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary? at the gymBut she didnt show up. Come on push. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". When I was a kid, I used to hate gym class. Everyone loves jokes and assuming youre on this site. 101. A dad goes to a food truck and sees the menu: Burgers: $8 Fries: $4 Handj0bs: $20. The doctor said, Skip one meal every day and youll lose at least 5 pounds in the next month.The blonde took his advice, and the doctor was shocked to find shed lost 20 pounds. Q: What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his What exercise do hairdressers do in the gym?